To the MLB on the event of this Players' Weekend

I’m sitting on my couch watching the first Nats game of Players’ Weekend. Anthony Rendon has his hair, which is similar in texture to mine, combed out, and he’s wearing two different color high socks. I am delighted. The fact that we’re losing 1-0 at the moment of this writing to the (LOL) Mets is less delightful, but that’s baseball, and if it weren’t an emotional sine wave between the peak of delight and the trough of disappointment … well, it’d be a different sport altogether.

Players’ Weekend is fun, the kind of officially endorsed fun rarely seen in a sport that seems to sometimes have a fun deficiency. Bright colors and goofy nicknames, all meant to harken back to Little League games. Players get paid millions to play a kids’ game, as they’re fond of saying, and it’s nice that the sport, for once, seems to agree.

But the weekend is meant to evoke a very specific type of memory for a fairly specific type of kid - and adult. Namely, male ones. I get MLBShop emails to about three different email addresses, so I was pretty excited to open this one to buy a player’s jersey.

The thing is: I have a lot of merch. I have, conservatively, a shirsey problem. I use shirseys the way that geologists use stratigraphic layers, a means of reconstructing Nats’ history done in red and blue layers on top of my dresser. (Excepting the framed signed-by-Drew-Storen Tyler Clippard shirsey that’s hanging, no joke, next to my wedding picture.) With few exceptions, these shirseys are Youth cuts, because my desire to spend my money outpaces the Nats slim-but-growing assortment of shirts in a Women’s cut. It’s fine. Ish.

But I was legitimately waiting to buy a player’s Player’s Weekend jersey. I had visions of Koda Glover’s ‘Bear’ jersey, or Michael A. Taylor’s ‘Mikey T’ jersey, or any of a dozen possible jersey options. I assumed there would be some fraction of the men’s offerings, but at the very least I could get a Rendon jersey because, like Trea, Anthony Is My Favorite Player.

But there weren’t any in Women’s. None. Zero. Which the MLB promised to have by the time the jerseys rolled out.

As problems go, the MLB’s tenuous relationship with offering women’s merch is about the level of realizing you have dental floss stuck between your back teeth during a job interview. Not the end of the world, but pretty freaking annoying and, once you realize it’s there, you can’t un-realize it.

For the Nationals, there are only two women’s shirseys - Harper and Scherzer - but two kids’ jerseys (Harper, who is, fittingly, ‘Big Kid;’ and Trea, who sources tell me can legally drink), as well as a kid’s Scherzer T-shirt.

Women get told that we’re not a market, that merch beyond a limited selection won’t sell … and yet we’re not marketed to. We have to get our jerseys customed because we can’t get jerseys with our favorite players on them that fit. I have a women’s blue patriotic series Rendon jersey that was obtained through mumble mumble mumble, because it is literally not a thing I could get otherwise.

And yeah, the fact that there are zero women’s offerings for either Rendon (who has the third best WAR in baseball among position players, because I do go to Fangraphs, bro), or Gio, who’s in the Cy Young conversation, is basically the Nats saying they don’t want my money. Also, it’s not like they’re unmarketable players, or terrible face-wise. Surely, let us have the pleasure of a women’s jersey that says ‘Ant’ on the back because, as I drunkenly shouted at the Ant-Man movie: The useful ants are female.

Moreover, there are only white players as options for women’s T-shirts and kids’ jerseys. Trea’s been out with his wrist for a while, but he and Michael A. haven’t put up dissimilar numbers this season. Trea’s hitting .279 with a 91 OPS+, and Mikey is at .263 with a 97 OPS+. They both tend to make spectacular, gif-worthy plays; they’re both young, likeable guys who the team should be invested in marketing. But one has a shirt and one doesn’t. This is a team in DC that decided that only adult men can buy a non-white players’ merch. Considering their fanbase, that is, at the very least, a gross marketing oversight.

We had the opportunity to talk with members of the DC Force, which is the DC girls’ baseball team, on the last podcast: These are girls who love the game, who should be the future of the game, who should get to rep their favorite players just as much as their male counterparts. But all the nostalgia that Players’ weekend is meant to evoke is not for them - or for me, it seems.

MLB is clearly trying to grow the game among young women. It has to: The fanbase is old and getting older. The League hyped the Trailblazer series. It worked with Pitch (even if the show itself erred on the side of explaining the Show to Ginny, who would, you know, understand the trade deadline). They want young women’s eyes on the game - and the dollars that accompany those eyes. So give us something to spend it on.

 

Episode 22: Player To Be Nicknamed Later

We finally have a topical reason to talk baseball nicknames! Dubiously topical? Cat jerseys may not be customizable, our outfield is a cornucopia of ups despite our current MASH unit status, and Scotchguarding bases is an... interesting concept. Resting Pitchface is joined this episode with some very special guests, the girls of DC Force Baseball (!!!), so definitely check out what they have to say!

Episode 22: Player To Be Nicknamed Later

Episode 21 - Sort By Huggability

Just how many players are Dorian Gray-ing their way through MLB? Who are all these new Nationals? Did Bryce Harper make a pact with a sea witch? "Answers" to these questions in the latest episode of Resting Pitchface, as well as what's up with the Cardinal's Christian Night, is there a right way to stats, and will Max Scherzer ever stop talking about his home run? And this time around, we're crying about our starting pitchers, not the bullpen!

Episode 21 - Sort By Huggability

Episode 20 - Salty Potatoes

It's Resting Pitchface's favorite time of year, the All Star Break! Which still doesn't have pool noodle jousting, but should, especially with this many Nats going (snubs aside). We discuss that, furthering the cause of international baseball, menacing oceans, and our new guys, who we're pretty sure aren't aliens. And our DL might look rough right now, but the Mets need either a necromancer or probably a doctor, and at the very least an exorcism.

Episode 20 - Salty Potatoes

Resting Pitchface Episode 19 - Trea Turner Clone Factory

Anthony Rendon has a BFF! And they both have the shirts to prove it! Also, the Nats have a Trea Turner cloning factory or at least are starting an impressive collection. Joe Ross keeps trying to do it all, Resting Pitchface has a family, Darren Baker may be a basket full of kittens, and Bianca the dog has a Saga in this episode, featuring special guest host Jenn Rubenstein! We did try not to discuss the bullpen but they keep coming up. At the moment our bullpen is the worst penny. 

Episode 19 - Trea Turner Clone Factory

**In this episode we discuss Child Sexual Assault. If you would like to skip this section, it comes up with warning around minute 42 and ends around minute 50. **

Resting Pitchface Episode 18 - Relievers Are People Too

Intergalactic baseball is sadly still not a thing, sigh. But we here at Resting Pitchface can still find ways to bring space into Earth-based baseball, especially when the NL East is a collection of black holes stacked on top of each other; Organic Farmer Jayson Werth may revive farming at the first Jedi temple; and Max Scherzer, Stephen Strasburg, and Koda Glover are lighting it up with some out of this world Ks. Oh, and the concept of the Closer should definitely be shot into space!

Resting Pitchface Episode 17 - Run A Bunch Of Stairs

There's so much positive to talk about! De Nile is just a river near the Potomac! The Ryanaissance is real (and we all can spell it), Jayson Werth is himself but stronger, and Max Scherzer continues to exemplify our starting pitching. Couple that with some strong feelings about playing through injury and some Things Observed at Fenway and you've got yourselves the making of a #classic Resting Pitchface episode.

Resting Pitchface Episode 16 - A Roster Move To The Knee

Sometimes the baseball players we love make bad decisions, which can run the gamut from poor choices in bleaching to falling off their dirtbikes *cough* MadBum *cough*. Obviously, we talk about all the ways those bad decisions can manifest, with side paths into new baby Strasburgs, the return of the Zach Duke update (this time in PSA form), and, inexplicably, Veggie Tales? Also, the Mets are pretty broken, Gio is killing it (best Nats ERA, and probably most consistent!), Bryce Harper is not Fievel, and Dan Kolko might get subsumed into Jayson Werth's beard. All alternate titles for this episode involved nipples; be thankful that there is resistance to the podcasttatorship.

Resting Pitchface Episode 15 - Falling Practice

The (roughly) first week of baseball is behind us! There's lots of positives, some glaring negatives, and plenty to fuel a full season's worth of discussion. Of course, we here at Resting Pitchface focus on our favorite topics, such as comfort goats, falling down properly, The Bullpen Situation, and the most recent addition, how does this affect my fantasy team. With all that, women's baseball showcase, speedy centerfielders, and more, we're off to a terrific seasonal start!

Resting Pitchface Episode 14 - World Baseball Classic - Who Can We Steal?

Recorded immediately prior to Team USA versus Team Also USA (Puerto Rico), it's the World Baseball Classic! From which countries have teams and why to how all the aesthetics of the tournament could improve with a Bedazzler, we've got it all with our particular Resting Pitchface flair. Look out countries of the world, we're coming for you to steal your baseball players.

Resting Pitchface Episode 13 - Baseball's Back, Alright

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, its 75 degrees in february and BASEBALL IS BACK.

It's a Resting Pitchface spring training 'preview': pace of play saltiness, inescapable politics, Bryce and others make Boom Boom, and of course too much talk about terrible infectious diseases of the face. Y'all, 2017 is just getting started. LET'S GO NATS!!!

Resting Pitchface Episode 10 - Hashtag Narrative

We're over our post-NLDS funk and are back and ready to dig into the various narratives of the ongoing postseason, including pitcher usage and returning heroes. We don't leave the Nats out, not with some longtime favorites leaving and a whole bunch of possible moves coming up in the offseason. Also, trust us, there are some things you shouldn't google.